so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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