i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
