maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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