I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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