just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Sorry about my life...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
