your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
