I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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