No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
