Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
