oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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