Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
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We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
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For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.