Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
