We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend