You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
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I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
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I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats