I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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