Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
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