How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
