I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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