Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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