Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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