i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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