his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
