So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
