New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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