It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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