i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
