windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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