Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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