I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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