so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
