Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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