I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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