Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
