Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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