YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
"it" just moved
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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