Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My dick has a subreddit
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
