I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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