When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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