i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
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so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
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While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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