I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
