seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
