My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
