I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
