I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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