Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
