This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
