I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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