i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
