Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
