problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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