dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
