i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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