did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
