My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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