Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Randomize
