Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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