i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
